There are always scenarios where we encounter colleagues who forsake career opportunities because they met someone with whom they are head over heels in love.  This urge can many times move then state lines or even an ocean to be with that person.  In the age of online dating, this is becoming an even greater common scenario.  The british checkout clerck living in New York because she met someone online or the young man who travelled from South Africa to live in San Francisco because he found the love of his life are all familiar storylines.

But oftentimes when the relationship fizzles, the sad reality is that there are individuals who have not only forsaken everything they have known to cross the continent for love, but who also end up in less than ideal career scenarios for their lives.

Another common trope that is often too popular is the individual who works in an industry or attends college and is forced to quit their pursuits due to a jealous significant other.  Someone who perhaps is not understanding of their initial investment and at times will use the relationship as a leveraged threat.

One recent case was a former college student in Montreal who sued his ex-girl friend for thousands of dollars in damages because she was instrumental in preventing him from attending one of the top musical schools in North America.  Several years after they had broken up, he realized that she had gone into his email and phone and attempted to delete any offers for scholarship that he had received before entering into college.

The sad but true reality is that not every relationship is a productive relationship.  Too often relationships can be like a 3 legged race where one person is carrying the burden emotionally or financially and the other person refuses to contribute or do their part.

Wasting Time Arguing

One of the biggest contributions to an unproductive relationship is arguing.  Just to be clear, arguing is not a waste of time in and of itself.  It is very healthy for couples to disagree on subjects.  In fact taking time to listen to someone who has a different opinion is perhaps one of the greatest aspects of self growth that we can give ourselves to.  A differing opinion can be a great asset to help us broaden our horizons while being in a relationship.

But disagreements should always be handled in a civil manner.   If those differing opinions are never brought to a point where you can agree to disagree, and are simply filled with hostility and emotional outburst, they become a waste of time.   The ability to state your case and allow it to be heard by your partner and vice versa is of critical importance. The fact that you disagree is not as important as how you handle those disagreements.

Resentment

Too often what can consume a relationship is when one individual is filled with resentment.  Sometimes this is due to issues beyond the control of the other party, but can play a huge factor in wasting time.  When an individual is filled with resentment for issues pertaining to their past it often causes them to be backward looking.  Often dwelling on issues of the past which can not be solved or fixed.  It can be the catalyst which causes them to always look back and never progress in their own development.  People that are bitter or resentful will never be able to enjoy the beauty of life and newness because they will always contemplate the worst case scenarios in life due to their inability to overcome hardships of the past.

Laziness

Every relationship like much of life requires work.  True relationships often force us to come out of our shell and begin to take upon ourselves the needs and concerns of others.  There is nothing more admirable than a power couple who are working in unison and have the same vision and focus.  But the reality is that there are some individualPostss who are lazy in life and also lazy in love.  Unfortunately, this may not be discovered until sometime into the relationship simply due to the nature of life.

In this scenario, you may have someone in the relationship who works hard because this aspect of life is important to them, but this can be viewed in a negative manner by someone who does not possess those same values or work ethics.

A good partner will always support your work ethic because they understand that your hard work and dedication is a reflection of yourself.  They in turn will make you more productive through their support and understanding.

Takeaways:

1. Wasting Time Arguing - dont engage in unhealthy arguments

2. Resentment - dont let your feelings of the past control your future

3. Laziness - If you value hard work ethic, don't settle for less